Tall, blond, deep blue eyes, not to mention that sensitivity to your feelings and dreams of fatherhood! Enough to make a girl go mad. Dating a Danish man may sound like the dream, but you might want to do a little research before you embark on that journey.
Danish men are markedly different from what you can find in the rest of the world. They are supportive, attentive, and forthcoming, but they are also reserved, sensitive, and emotional.
Navigating the dating scene with these Scandinavian cuties can be confusing at first. But with a little confidence and cultural understanding, you should be able to find what you are looking for.
Here’s your comprehensive guide to dating a Danish man.
The sweet sensitive Viking
Somehow, Denmark has managed to make some of the most attractive men on the planet, also the sweetest men on the planet. With a culture that values a healthy diet and regular exercise, your sweet and attentive Danish man probably comes built like a Viking.
These Scandinavian hotties would have been ruined born elsewhere. I might be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure that in the US, the tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, Viking but somehow also hipster-looking dude, is NOT going to be the sweetest guy you’ve ever met.
Don’t identify as a woman?
Not to worry.
There are plenty of beautiful queer Danish boys to go around.
Queer culture is booming in Copenhagen, and these hotties aren’t only reserved for hetero women. Denmark was the first country in Europe to legalize gay marriage and boasts one of the safest places in the world to be who you are.
What are Danish men like?
Born of Danish ethics, Danish guys have a strong moral compass. Danes believe in their governing and policing institutions and do their best to live by the social moral code. A typical Danish man tries to do the right thing, he cleans his room, makes his bed, and probably doesn’t j-walk.
He probably likes football. No, not American football, though he could be into that too. If he likes sports, he has sports friends. And by sports friends, I mean friends specifically for sports stuff. When they get together, they watch sports, talk about sports, and play sports.
Danes have a funny way of organizing their social sphere. They like to sort their friends into separate categories. His sports friends are going to be different from his gaming friends, and the gaming friends have probably never met his school friends, and they’ve probably never met his university friends.
Then you have work friends and don’t forget about family friends. The typical Danish man is a busy man.
How does he have the time to know all these people? Well, he is extremely organized about his time. It’s not uncommon for a Dane to have the next month or two packed with plans.
Family is important to him. He probably has a good relationship with his mom and spends the holidays close to home. Family events are a big deal, especially grandpa’s 80th birthday or the birth of a niece or nephew.
The typical Danish man usually likes to travel, and he definitely likes to drink. Going out for a night on the town with the boys is normal. He can probably drink your dad under the table, but he can also hold his liquor.
How to tell if it’s casual or serious?
Danes are a very sexually liberated people. Women only looking for sex are not labeled whores and men aren’t considered players. And what’s more, just because a Dane is only looking for casual sex, does not mean they aren’t going to be interested in your life.
If you’re looking for casual hookups in Denmark, prepare yourself for the cutest one-nightstands you’ll ever have.
The problem, however, with loving casual relationships — especially ongoing ones — is that it can be tricky to tell if he wants something more. The ‘what are we’ talk can be intimidating. So, how can you tell without asking?
The typical casual Danish relationship is pretty easy to spot. You’ll be spending most of your together-time in the bedroom or out partying.
How often do you leave the bedroom? If you do, where are you? Out partying? If so, you might be a booty call. If it’s not casual, you will probably end up “accidentally” meeting his friends — but it’ll be outside of a party setting.
Serious dating usually involves some kind of actual dating, even if the activities aren’t called “dates” explicitly. Maybe you’ll meet up for a beer in the park for example or go to a concert together.
What does your communication look like? Does he only text you when he’s out? What happens when you text? Does it end with you in his bed? Can you talk without it ending in sex?
If you aren’t sure where you stand, the easiest course of action would be to ask him. A casual relationship could lead to more, but are you willing to wait on a maybe? If you’re interested in something casual and you suspect he wants something more, have the conversation asap.
Remember, hearts are precious, and sex comes with emotional responsibility. Communicate your intentions!
Dating a Danish guy: What’s it like?
So, you’ve landed a serious dating situation with one of these beautiful men. What’s it like? Well, first of all, it doesn’t take long for sex to become an option. It’s quite normal in Denmark for sex to happen fast, but that doesn’t mean he won’t respect that no means no.
Don’t let Danish sex culture push you into anything you don’t want to do. It is also completely acceptable to wait. If you feel pressured at any point, drop him! There are plenty of Danish men happy to respect your boundaries.
Sex might be on the table quickly, but relationships are a different story.
It could take months of dating before you find yourself in a relationship. Danes like to take their time getting to know someone before committing. However, once he’s committed, he’s committed.
He’ll remember small details about you and mention them in birthday cards. He’ll help you clean your apartment, even if he doesn’t live there. Every Danish man shows his affection differently, but you can expect to feel calm and safe in your relationship.
Two lives, one relationship
Autonomy and independence are extremely important within Danish culture. The Danish state makes it easy for young adults to leave the nest early and financially support themselves.
There are a myriad of financing options for Danish youth, from paid university attendance to state-subsidized living options.
You can expect your Danish man to have his own life next to your life together. His friends and family will celebrate you and your relationship warmly, but at the end of the day, it is his world.
Rather than trying to get in with his crowd, have independent friends of your own. If you don’t, you might end up feeling rejected and left out. It’s unlikely any of his friends will hang out with you without him, and there will definitely be events you aren’t invited to.
You and your independence are equally as important. He will encourage you to go hang out with your friends, pursue your career, try out that hobby you’ve been considering for years, etc.
As your relationship progresses and evolves, your two worlds will mesh. However, though you may be sharing one life, your two separate worlds will still exist to some extent.
Dealing with money in relationships
Money issues are one of the leading causes of breakups. But Danes have collectively found a way to mitigate this. By splitting everything equally.
Like, extremely equally.
If you get invited to a dinner party of 3, where the host spent, say, 100 kroner on dinner. Be prepared to get a bill a few days later requesting 33.33 kroner for the food you ate. And it’s important that you don’t forget that last .33 øre (cents).
As relationships evolve, the feeling of financial autonomy doesn’t change. Danes who have been together for a decade or more will still have separate bank accounts. They might have a joint account for bills, but their income and spending money are usually kept separately.
How to tell if a Danish guy likes you
Men in other places of the world can be rather direct about their feelings. A Danish man is going to be more passive about it.
Someone not accustomed to Danish culture might find the friendliness of Danish men confusing. They can be charming even if they are not interested in you romantically. So, how can you tell?
The devil is in the details.
Does he make time for you? Danes are extremely busy with their social lives and their jobs. If he makes extra room in his calendar for someone he just met, it’s a good sign.
Pay attention to body language. Does he initiate unnecessary casual physical contact? How much eye contact does he make? Does he linger around when the conversation dies? Danes can be kind of awkward when socializing with someone they don’t know very well.
Being stuck in an awkward conversation where you don’t know what to talk about is Danish hell. So, if he lingers when the conversation dies, that’s another good sign he’s into you. At the end of the day, if you have the feeling he might be into you, he probably is.
Danish men might not be direct about their feelings, but Danish women are. It’s considered bold and it’s sexy. Being direct can be intimidating, but it’s highly unlikely you will get a negative response.
A man who already has a partner is going to be extremely flattered and grateful for the compliment. He will probably apologize for giving you the wrong idea while blushing excitedly.
The secret to dating Danish men
Remember subtlety and communication are important. But so are knowing the rules. Check out these pro-tips.
Pro-tip #1: Don’t get too fancy
Fancy has its place in Danish culture, and it’s important not to put fancy on the schedule when it’s not appropriate. Danes are a hygge (cozy) country, and they prefer to feel comfortable over dressing up. That being said, on occasion, things can get pretty fancy.
Denmark is home to the #1 best restaurant in the world, and it’s not uncommon for families to have a fancy-schmancy dinner party in an old castle with butlers, servants, and the whole shebang. But these occasions are not usually reserved for relationships.
Unless you are celebrating your 30th anniversary, and you’re inviting the whole family, don’t go castle dinner party fancy. Don’t even go expensive dinner fancy. Fancy parties are reserved for 50 and 100-year-old birthday parties and other family events (if that sort of thing is in your family culture)
Casual but with personality is going to be your go-to mood
Pro-tip #2: Don’t go for the big romantic gestures
Big anything is not a thing, let alone big romantic gestures. Being romantic in Denmark is a lot different than anywhere else in the world. Subtlety is key. He’ll show his affection passively and practically. Why is this? One word. Janteloven (the law of Jante).
Janteloven is an underlying social rule in Denmark. It asserts that everyone ought to behave with humility. No one is ever to entertain the idea that they are better than anyone else. Decades of history have made Danes into collective-minded, reasonable thinkers, and relationships are no different.
Danes are looking for something safe, simple, and not too flashy. Getting something over the top is a little cringy and doesn’t feel genuine. Throw the romantic performance aside and get ready for an attentive partner who shows affection by making your life easier.
If you need something from the store, he’ll run and get it. He’ll care for you when you are sick and remember your favorite flavor of ice cream next time you are sad. He might not lavish you with expensive jewelry, but you won’t be in doubt about the way he feels.
Pro-tip #3: Throw traditional romance out the window
They won’t hold the door. They won’t pull out your chair. They probably won’t even pay for dinner. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t romantic!
They will help with the housework and maybe even stay home with the kids while you pursue a career. Nope. You didn’t read that wrong. There are more than a fair share of Danish men that are passionate about starting a family.
Little boys that grow up dreaming of their wedding day and look forward to becoming excellent fathers and husbands. All this lack of tradition may seem like the dream, but it also means that the traditional cat and mouse game won’t be happening, and you may get the wrong idea.
He won’t be chasing you. He won’t be doing anything that could be taken as forcing himself on you. You may need to be the one doing a little of the chasing. Don’t worry about being too assertive or dominant, Danish men more than appreciate it!
Dating a Danish man
Danish men are liberal and progressive. They value equality and independence. If you are looking for someone to push you to accomplish your goals and support your financial freedom, dating a Danish man might be the right decision for you.
Finding your way through the Danish dating scene with these beautiful Scandinavian men might be a little tricky at first. But with a little know-how and the right social setting, you should be able to find what you are looking for.
Scandification: Discovering Scandinavia.
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—What is Denmark famous for?
