Dating Swedish Women

Dating Swedish women — fantasy or reality?

There aren’t many men who would say no to dating Swedish women. In fact, having a Swedish girlfriend is probably a bit of a fantasy for most men out there. If you want to turn that fantasy into reality however, you may find yourself in need of some advice.

After all, we are dealing with a whole other culture here, with its own customs, habits and codes of conduct, and Swedish women do not come with instruction manuals.

Beautiful though they may be, they are as complicated as most women, so read on for some sage advice on how to navigate the waters of dating Swedish girls.

What are Swedish women like

That Swedish women are beautiful is a universally accepted fact, though they are not necessarily all tall, blonde and blue-eyed. They actually come in many amazing shades, shapes and varieties, giving you plenty of choice.

Nonetheless, while their beauty may be undisputed, there is much more to your cool, Nordic dame than meets the eye.

Just as Swedes in general, Swedish women do tend to be rather shy which may make them come across as cold at first.

On top of that, Swedish girls rarely initiate contact with a man. Instead she will toss her hair, flash him a come-hither look and maybe even bestow a quick smile on the lucky fellow. If she is interested, that is.

If you are the recipient of this courtship ritual, strike up a conversation, but do avoid cheesy pick-up lines as they do NOT work on Swedish women.

Your typical Swedish girl, though shy, is straight-forward and honest, and she will expect the same from you. No BS, no lying and absolutely no cheating!

In addition, she very much believes in equality and will open that restaurant door herself, or even hold it open for you. Treat her like an equal and not a damsel in distress — they don’t exist in Sweden.

If you can stick to all that, your luck may be in with your future Swedish girlfriend.

Dating Swedish Women

Anatomy of the typical Swedish girl

As previously mentioned, Swedish women do come in all shapes and sizes, but there is an element of truth to the “tall, blonde and blue-eyed” cliché. You will notice this when you are out and about in Sweden, particularly if you come from a country where that look is not common.

However, while Swedish girls can be very tall, Sweden is, funnily enough, not included in the top 10 tallest nations. The Netherlands top that list and Sweden’s neighbours, Norway and Denmark, are both on it, but not so Sweden. They do rank in the top 20 though, which is still impressive.

As to the “blonde and blue-eyed”, Swedish DNA has always leaned towards that particular colour-scheme, but it’s not a uniform truth. Many Swedes have darker hair, though brown eyes are still quite rare.

Swedish women are generally very fit as well, with good bodies, clear skin and a look that oozes energy and vitality. Put this down to the Swedish obsession with “friluftsliv”, or the outdoor life, on the one hand, and on the other the concept of “fräsch”.

“Fräsch”, roughly translated, means fresh, but there is so much more to it than that. Being “fräsch” refers to, for example, personal hygiene, which is highly rated in Sweden. It can also refer to your outfit as well as to food or even your home.

Swedish women are very eager to always appear “fräsch” and they expect the same from their men, so no sweaty armpits please, and for goodness sake brush your teeth after every meal!

Good health is also very much prioritized in Sweden, hence all the sports and working out, as well as the obsession with fresh air. Many Swedes have also turned vegan in the last couple of decades — something to keep in mind before you offer her a trip to the nearest steakhouse.

How to find a typical Swedish girl to date — mission not so impossible

Swedes in general meet their partners through their friendship circle. Many have known each other since childhood, hanging out and having fun, and suddenly one day the spark just ignites.

This can be a bit difficult for a foreign man in Sweden to accomplish. However, if you haven’t yet been invited to such a circle, fear not, there are other, good, ways to meet Swedish women.

If you have some time on your hands and will be staying in Sweden for quite some time, we would suggest you find yourself some regular haunts.

Frequent visits to, for example, your favorite cafe or lunch-restaurant inevitably results in faces becoming well known, and, in time, may provide you with the opportunity to strike up a conversation.

Do make friends with some cool Swedish dudes, as they can then introduce you to their friends, and make you part of their circle, which in turn may produce your perfect partner.

Striking up that conversation with your striking beauty

Ah yes, so you’ve become a regular at Joe’s Cafe, you have that gorgeous babe in your crosshairs and you’re getting ready to strike, smoothing down your hair and preparing that chat-up line.

Whoa there, bucko! Did we not say no cheesy chat-up lines? Indeed we did, so let’s take a deep breath and rethink the strategy.

The best way to approach the shy, typical Swedish girl is to simply march up and introduce yourself in a friendly, down to earth manner. A handshake is acceptable if someone else is doing the introduction, though not necessary if you are introducing yourself.

Swedish women are brutally honest, so if she is not interested you will soon know. On the other hand, if she is interested, she will make that clear with a smile and accept your introduction.

The rules of engagement, Swedish style

So now you’ve made contact, what do you say and do?

Avoid offering to buy her a drink for starters if you’re in a bar or other such establishment, but rather ask if she’d join you for a drink, otherwise she may feel you’re trying deliberately to get her tipsy.

This is also a good way to let her make the choice as to whether she wants to spend as much time with you as having a drink would mean.

Swedish girls are well-read, intelligent and well-educated. This means you need to keep the conversation on a nice, intellectual level, rather than making cheesy remarks about her looks. She knows she looks good, you don’t need to tell her.

Do avoid contentious subjects such as politics or religion however, even though Swedish girls are very well informed when it comes to those subjects.

Most Swedish women tend to lean politically a little left, with a good portion of feminism thrown in, but until you know her, those waters are best left unnavigated.

Sexism and misogynistic jokes are an absolute no-no with your typical Swedish girl. Oh, and please, no bragging!

Rather than hearing about your flash car, your average Swedish woman is more interested in your contributions to community values and your environmental awareness.

Asking about her interests and hobbies is fine, as well as her taste in music, movies and literature. As Swedish girls are a bit shy, asking these questions are a good way to get her to open up.

Strangely enough, occupations are, refreshingly, not really discussed on a first date. The truth is, she doesn’t care one iota how much money you make, so the subject of careers is completely irrelevant.

Dating Swedish Women

Dating Swedish girls means coffee

The safest place to meet for a first date, or even a second or third, is for coffee, in the daytime, in public. Swedish people don’t date per se, and a coffee is considered a nice, casual way to get to know someone.

Fika, as it is known in Sweden, is a cherished ritual, and it will definitely put your Swedish woman at ease if you opt for fika when you ask her out.

Never, ever ask a Swedish girl to dinner on the first date. That indicates way more commitment than she is ready to give at this stage. Dinner happens when you are already in a relationship, or have at least made it to the bedroom.

Also, Swedish people are notoriously fair and strong believers in equality, and if you put on too big a show for your first date, she will feel obligated to reciprocate, which means she may feel uncomfortable.

If you want to get to a second date, stick to fika and light conversation.

Oh, and do remember she will be paying her share of the bill.

Slow and steady wins the race

Dating Swedish women means learning to pace yourself. No, we are not talking about sex — that is something that can happen even before the fika!

What we refer to are the stages of relationships, Swedish style. In the early stages, things are kept extremely casual, and she will not commit to an exclusive relationship after two or three dates.

It’s not that she is stringing you along, but rather that she wants to be sure of both your feelings and her own before getting serious. Relationships, once you are in them, are taken very seriously in Sweden, so being clear on your compatibility is crucial.

On the flip-side, this means that casual sex and friends with benefits are very common here. Sex is seen as a normal need experienced by both genders, and it’s healthy to meet that need without necessarily having to buy a Volvo together first.

If you do make it to relationship status, you can be sure she will be loyal, honest and a great companion.

Equality and your Swedish girlfriend

Swedish women have a long and illustrious history as being very strong individuals indeed, and just as capable as any man at wielding a sword and defending the homestead.

That is exactly what Viking women often had to do when their men set out to pillage and plunder from their sissy neighboring countries. This strength and expectation of capability has transferred through to this day, and created a modern race of breast-plated Helgas.

Bills are split and household chores equally divided, and the kiddoes spend just as much time with dad as they do with mom. Paternity leave is extremely generous in Sweden, and most men are expected to take theirs while the mother goes back to work.

Their strong sense of equality also makes Swedish people very accepting, so your nationality, skin colour, religion or political leanings, will all be accepted and respected. She may not agree with your opinions, but she will respect your right to have them.

Give your Swedish woman space

If you have ever waited at a bus-stop in Sweden, you will know that Swedes like their space. It almost looks like some internet meme in production, with people standing at least six feet apart (in total silence) — and that was way before Covid!

As to striking up random conversation with a stranger in the bus queue, that is an absolute no-no, unless you are intoxicated. Whether you are or not, you will be seen as a nuisance.

This very Swedish trait pretty much permeates their whole existence, and random hugs are not doled out the way they are on the Continent. Not when a firm handshake will suffice.

True, Swedes have attempted to become more “continental” in the last few decades, and air-kisses are a thing, but the average Swede still finds such outlandish behaviour uncomfortable.

A Swedish woman, therefore, must be given her space. Not just with regards to physical contact, but also with a very low-pressure approach to relationships. Jealousy and possessiveness are not regarded as endearing to Swedish women.

Do you still want to date a Swedish woman?

Yes, there is a lot to consider before embarking on a relationship with a Swedish woman, and it may seem daunting.

What do you do if you offend or upset her for example? Easy! You apologize and move on. Remember that Swedish girls are honest, solid and straight-forward, so you being the same is the way forward.

Swedes believe any conflict can be resolved with adult conversation and being open to seeing the other side, so there’s no need to fear the occasional argument, as long as you handle it like a grown-up.

The benefit of all this, is that you will have a girlfriend that is all yours, as long as you are all hers.

Despite the possible pitfalls, dating Swedish women is absolutely worth it, and we can assure you that you will have no regrets!

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